On Happiness

I was going to make a generic post about happiness, how to achieve it, how to measure it, what the purpose of it is, but it probably would have just been a passive aggressive swipe at my wife at this point.  So I’m going to do it the honest way and just talk about what I want to talk about directly.

I haven’t been talking to Melissa very much lately, only doing the minimum amount of small talk that is necessary to coexist in the same space.  I want to tell her why, but then that would defeat the purpose of doing it, so I figured I’d vent about it here.

Here is what I know about her state of mind.  These facts have been verified both through her actions and her words:

  • The thing which is most important to her, the only thing she cares about right now, is being happy.
  • Talking to me makes her sad.

Those two statements, put together, lead me to a deduction!  She doesn’t want to talk to me at all.  This, also, has been borne out by her actions, if not her words.  So I’ve been avoiding it.

I’ve been trying to decide whether I want to talk to her, because what she wants is not the only thing that is important.  I’ve decided that while I’m unhappy not talking to her, I’m more unhappy when we do talk, as long as she is not consoling.  Lately she has taken a less and less consoling attitude, so it really does not affect me either way.  I am almost to closure, and I don’t need anything more from her to get it.

The realtor told us today that she does not need to be here for closing the sale of the house.  I do find it strange, and sad, that she thinks that the way to attain her goal of happiness is to leave forever, and never see me again.

I guess I’ll go into what I talked about at the start a little bit: I don’t think happiness is something you can chase directly.  Happiness comes from fulfilling the goals you have for yourself.  It does not come from food, or love, or sex directly, but only from the realization that you are achieving what you want to achieve.  I hope we can all make those achievements, big and small, every day.

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