Back To Basics

I started this blog as a place to mark down my feelings on some very personal issues: my separation and related topics. Washwords has called me out as a great writer on these topics a few times, and I appreciate that. Lately I’ve veered away from those topics and have been blogging on less personal, more “normal” issues, and posting slightly more infrequently. I think that’s healthy and generally the direction I want to go in, but I thought a few more comments on that topic would be in order.

I feel as though I’ve come to a place now where I’m stable and even comfortable with my situation. I haven’t reached the end point fully of this stage of my life, and I don’t think I will until I’ve sold my house. I use that as a marker for finality, mostly because paying a mortgage on one income constrains me in my choices much more than I’d like.

A good friend of mine whose opinion I respect a great deal thinks this must be impossible; a 3 month recovery period emotionally for a 5 year marriage? I must be in denial, she says. I am open to that possibility; I search myself for any hint that that’s true, but I don’t find anything inside myself that indicates denial, only acceptance.

The tag cloud to the right, at the moment, has divorce as the biggest topic of discussion. I feel like I haven’t posted on that topic for weeks, and still there it sits. I don’t want things to be that way; I want a more balanced and healthy life and blog and situation, and I hope I’m working toward it. This post may be my last one with a divorce tag until the papers are signed. I’m not going to force that, but I just wanted to be clear about it, if that’s the kind of writing that brought you here.

I may not write as well when things are less personal; I’ll try to get into some situations that are both personal and bloggable, but I don’t see very many things on that list. If you give me suggestions, I’d be happy to expound on any topic at length. I’m pretty arrogant that way, as writers must be at least a little.

I want to close by talking about some things that have changed about me in the past few weeks:

  • I have some grey hairs. I don’t know where they came from or if they might go away, but there’s a glint of silver just above my forehead.
  • I’ve lost 15 pounds. I didn’t even see this coming until I just weighed myself:
  • Every day when I get home work I spend at least a half hour getting spruced up: shaving, trimming my fingernails, showering, brushing my teeth, getting myself together for the rest of my day. I probably only did this 3 times a week or so before.
  • I very rarely play video games anymore; only when it’s a social event. My Wii hasn’t been hooked up in two weeks; my desktop computer has been off for 6.

Scale Reading

White hairs, if you can see them.

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One Response

  1. I think the time of getting over a marriage depends on the person and the circumstances of the end. My marriage was over quite a while before we actually split. It was still difficult to move forward but I managed to do it faster then I thought. Writing about positives tends to help you move forward as well. Just keep positive!

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