The Soda Wars 2008

Coming off of the past two weeks of political conventions reaffirmed in me my take on the current duopoly we have in government.  In nearly every fundamental way, we are being governed by political parties that are akin to Coke and Pepsi.

Both parties launched massive marketing campaigns planned by the same executives used by the big corporations.  They attempted to distinguish their brands by the use of taste tests and media buys, celebrity endorsements and local sponsorships, even while pursuing nearly the same recipe: a police state at home, multiple interventions abroad, heaps of corporate welfare, and an ever-growing public sector that cannot be reined in.

This will be especially clarified in the coming weeks as both candidates swerve towards the center, unable to distinguish themselves on nearly every issue: both offering the same syrupy government largesse with a slightly different flavor.  And even while the two parties are 95% the same, much like those powerhouses of the soft drink industry nearly every one of their consumers will remain fiercely partisan.  Coke *is* better than Pepsi, one will hear.  Another will guarantee that Pepsi is supreme.  Neither of them will waver in their fundamentalist belief that their glass of sugar water is superior to your glass of sugar water.

I’m tired of drinking cola.  Please, can I just for once have a nice refreshing glass of water?

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3 Responses

  1. So is Nader like, Tab or something?

  2. Nah, Tab is made by Coke.

    Nader would have to be RC Cola or Jones Soda, if we stick with the soda analogy. But the whole point is that the other parties aren’t cola at all. I’d say Nader is white wine, McKinney is V8, and Barr is water.

  3. I bought a six-pack of Tab from the store recently, just out of curiosity. I was surprised to discover that it doesn’t have much of a taste at all.

    Nader would have to be OK Cola — popular for a brief moment, now a forgotten relic of days gone by.

    Bob Barr is definitely bottled water. What else for the free market?

    Cynthia McKinney is absinthe — bitter and makes you a little crazy.

    Chuck Baldwin is wholesome milk.

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