Rhino be thine Beetle

Guest post: by poober

So today at work I stumbled across a redonkulously ginormous beetle and me being me had to scoop it up and take it home with me. I didn’t figure out what kind of beetle it was until I got back and googled it. It is a Giant North American Rhinoceros Beetle: otherwise known as Grant’s Rhinoceros Beetle.

I originally took it back for a friend who has a collection of crazy looking bugs, but on the drive home (as he scrambled around in a Gatorade bottle with holes punched in it) I grew mildly attached to him. After getting all sorts of information from the Internets I found out that these beetles eat fruit and nectar, can’t bite or harm you in anyway, and are all around excellent pets. He loves to climb all over my arms and though he has pincer claws on his legs and a huge horn on his head, he tickles more than hurts.

The website I looked at said they could fly very well, but mine doesn’t appear to be able to. While they spend three years as larvae, they only spend one year as actual beetles, so I hope he may be a young beetle and hasn’t developed his wings yet. My friend with the bug collection gave me a nice terrarium and the rhino beetle is playfully bulldozing sliced apples in it right now so I think I’ll try and keep him as he is very fun to play with and seems like little maintenance.

The only problem I have now is what to name him.

I’m thinking Cervantes, but I’d love some other input. Cant remember what the beetle from Godzilla was called. Anywho, for more information on Rhino Beetles check out CentralPets.com where I got my info.

Ipood

Guest post: by poober

I am sometimes stubborn in submitting to certain technological advances. I despise Apple, for reasons even unknown to me, and for that I have long put off getting an Ipod. When the CD player in my car died and I hit commercials on all six of my preset channels (Greg should post on that) I decided something must be done.

I enjoy music, I believe it helps to bring forward emotions and a creative state of mind. When I was in high school I needed to listen to music while I did homework. Believe me, the creativity it helped bring out was crucial in bullshitting my way through most papers I wrote.

I digress.

So, I became a consumer whore and went out and bought an Ipod. While it took me several hours to upload all my music into Itunes, which I also despise (with reason! the format is terrible), and then import all my cd’s onto my computer, I am now loving my decision to go out and buy one.

I am carrying my new Ipod wherever I go: friends house, work, workout, everywhere. I also found music on my computer I didn’t even know was there! Look up Louis Logic, lyrical genius! And while Ipod and Itunes dont really tell you about it, you can go steal all your friends music if they have Itunes as well.  Just dont sync your Ipod with your computer (just means you have to manually click and drag your music onto your Ipod) and then you can plug it into any computer and nab more songs. I’ve already ravaged one friends playlist and I’m hunting down the others!

Play on musicman, play on!

Bonus points for anyone that can guess the video I’m watching.

Das Uber Sandwiche

Guest post: by poober

Leftovers have to be the greatest invention known to man. Take something you cooked the night before, let it stew in the fridge to fully release its flavor, then pull it right back out and enjoy. My favorite way to get those nuggets of deliciousness back out of the fridge is Das Uber Sandwiche.

Half new materials, half leftover goodness, half insanity, is the recipe for greatness. Take three slices of your favorite bread (I’m a fan of rye not only for flavor but because it’s a little bit elongated and thus can hold more toppings) and lay them out. You’ll need some meat of some sort, whether classic sandwiche meats fresh from the store or maybe that meatloaf you cooked the nice before (maybe the steak you couldnt finish.)

Mix and match, I normally try for two kinds of meat.

Then you’ll need a cheesy substance. Again I shoot for two varieties. Sliced cheese makes a good base, but for something exotic throw some mac ‘n’ cheese on there. Maybe those cheesey potatoes no one finished for dinner.

Now two slices should be filled with one meat and one cheese each. Time for the variables. Things you would not normally find on a sandwich is what makes the Das Uber Sandwich king of the wiche phylum. Perogies, mashed potatoes, beef strogonoff, chili, a slice of pizza, asparagus, or even some stuffing.

Don’t let “Ew that sounds gross” rule your culinary actions. Perogie, asparagus, and roast beef sandwiches are deliciouse. Chili does go with beef strogonoff. Let your imagination run wild. Alright, so you have your variables on your two slices. I like to keep the third slice as a holder of mustard and mayo, as well as a seperator of the other two foodstuff filled slices. Throw it all in the toaster and let it cook together to mix flavors. Smash the three slices together and there you go. Not only to you get those leftovers out of the fridge, but you made a meal fit for a king in the process.

Add an olive with a toothpick for flare!

Real Men Play Frisbee

Guest post by: poober

I’m not the most athletic guy out there, but I do enjoy certain sports. Many of the more common sports like football and baseball require large teams that I have trouble mustering.

That’s why I have taken to the lesser-played sports. Right now some of my favorites are frisbee-golf, bocce ball, and croquet. Not only can these games be played with at least two people, they can be played right in your backyard.

Now that it’s warm out again Ive dusted off the ol’ discus and started tossin’ it around again. I have a course in my yard that me and a friend randomly picked out one spring and it seems to have stuck, so now not only I know it by heart but all my friends do too:

We also put a little twist on it.

I believe traditional frisbee golf is played with hoops on the ground you must land the discus inside. We play that there are trees designated as holes (as well as a sandbank, brick pile, bush, and lamp post). While you don’t break a huge sweat throwing a frisbee and trudging after it, you are up and moving around, so its better for you then just sitting around the house. After a warm up round of frisbee golf with my brother, my parents decided they wanted a go at it and it became a fun experience for everyone.

So grab a friend, grab and brother or sister, grab your parents or children, and get outside to toss a frisbee. Its not the same as going to the gym, but it beats sitting on your ass.

Dessert Quesadilla, An Untapped Resource

Guest post by: poober

Who can seriously say they don’t enjoy quesadillas? They are the spanish equivalent of a grilled cheese sandwich, which, dont you worry, will get my attention in a later post.

Quesadillas are simple to make, go great as an appetizer, snack, or full blown meal, depending on hunger levels or magnificence of said consumable.  And it comes in so much variety! You can have the classic cheese quesadilla, or spice it up with a THREE cheese quesadilla. Throw some chicken or steak on there if you’re a meat lover. I’m a fan of the mushroom quesadilla. I have even seen it taken to the fatter wallet requirement of a lobster quesadilla.

But, one of the facets of the quesadilla not often exemplified on menus is the dessert quesadilla. It is simple to make and I challenge you to try it for yourself at home. Just take the omnipresent two pieces of tortilla, fill them with apple pie filling, spread some cinnamon or confectioners sugar on the top, throw it in the toaster, and VOILA! instant classic. Fun for the whole family.

You can pretty much substitute the apple pie filler for any other generic pie filling, but im all about the appley goodness. Have some fun, play around with the ingredients. Put anything between those two tortillas and I’m positive deliciousness… or hilariousness… will ensue. Send some pictures of quesadillas your crazy recipes have concocted for follow up posts!

What Happens in Hondo Stays in Hondo…

Guest post by: poober

As you may have heard through the grapevine, I was down in the merry ol’ country of Honduras kickin’ ass and taking names. Well, not really. Yes, I’m in the U.S. Marine Corps, so you’d think that last part is true, but our mission was not of a hostile nature.

Our unit went down to Honduras to do some good in the world. We went down to build a school house. And on this humanitarian mission I learned what a great place Honduras is. The country itself is exquisitely beautiful. They do throw their trash on the ground, or burn it in piles, but if you look beyond that at the majestic mountainous scenery it is exquisitely beautiful.

The people were extremely friendly (I dont know if that’s towards all Americans or just the ones that build them free schools) and the kids loved to hang out and watch us. We taught them how to give the thumbs up sign for bien and how to police call their own soccer field. Or futbol… whichever they call it. Oh, and never stand between a Honduran child and a soccer ball. That seems to be there greatest pastime.

The food was so-so. They make excellent fried chicken, but the rest seems to lack any spices. I don’t know how but I didn’t get ill from anything I ate while out at the jobsite. It wasnt until I went back to the American Honduran airforce base and ate at the supposedly clean chowhall that I got food poisoning.

The exchange rate for their dollars, which are called lempiras, is about nineteen to one. Needless to say you can get anything cheap down there. Can anyone say dollar beers!? I normally tipped well, one, because I’m bad at math, and two, because i felt they could use it more than me. Not only did we build them a school but i think we boosted there economy just by being down there. All in all it was a great trip and I would recomend visiting down there to everyone. I also talked to a guy that moved to the U.S. for a couple years, made some bank, then returned to Honduras. He said he doesn’t have to work anymore. Put that option in your retirement plans.